Writing Sample

WALT:  Entertain

My writing goal this term was to linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs

SUCCESS CRITERIA

Structure

I have organised and sequenced my ideas into paragraphs for purpose and effect.

TASK: craft a free-choice piece of writing that shows how I am developing my goal

This is my first draft:

This is my edited piece:

Hi my name is Jaimey and the story you’re about to read is something you won’t believe. After Grandad passed away suddenly, we had to move into his old house, all the way on the other side of the country! Grandad’s rundown bungalow was on 32 Red Rum street. If you haven't noticed, Red Rum spells 'murder' backwards. Everybody talks about the inscrutable story behind his neighbourhood but we always thought it was just nonsense. But now me and my irritating little brother Mac have to actually live here. Mum always says not to believe the gossip about the street but me and Mac can’t help ourselves now.  The house is really old with some cobwebs and holes with mucky water oozing. Our old house was not like this. Our old house felt like a mansion with brand new rooms! This house has lot's of strange things but I can't prove it to my mother.  If my father were here, he would understand that all this nonsense could be true. But sadly, he got killed by hunters. He was collecting firewood in the near by forest where the hunters were also roaming. The hunters heard whispering rustles in the bushes and thought it was a tiger. They weren't wise because tigers are mostly in the jungle. They selfishly shot a bullet in the bushes. The bullet shot my father with a killing blow. Everything felt felt different that day. Ok, Ok, no more time for the intro now. Let's begin with the real story. We will begin with the part where it was my first day of school.

Today was my first day at Koopsy Intermediate school. It wasn't long till I noticed that if you unscramble Koopsy, it spells spooky. As I walked through the pale white path of the school it felt comforting. The school had lots of murals and colourful signs. The rest was covered in a blanket of white. We took Mac to his new class and his teacher seemed really nice. After that, mum and I had a conversation.
"Jaimey! Do you remember what class you're in?"

"Yes mum, room 16!"

"Well you have a good memory."

"Actually mum, my memory is too good. I remember things, I want to forget." I said softly...                            

Evaluation

How has your writing has improved this term?

My writing has improved because more people want to read the whole story and it is beginning to go smoothly.

The part of my story I am most proud of is…

The part I am most  proud of is the part where Jaimey describes the different features of the house because that makes a picture in the readers head.

Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?

Trying to link two paragraphs because when I link the two paragraphs it didn't really connect.

Feedback/Feedforward: 

Well done Aye I really got hooked into the story at the start. I also love how you have Red Rum street and Koopsy intermediate school. Maybe next time you can  add some more paragraphs. 

Lilli

Learning pit

The Learning Pit

WALA: The Learning Pit

Description: We have been learning about when good learning happens.

Task: Share what you know about the learning pit.
Criteria:
Draw the Learning Pit.

List at least 3 feelings that you might have when you are in the pit.
Flustered, challenged and annoyed.
List at least 3 strategies that you could use to get out of the pit.
Trial & error, start easy and build up, ask an expert.
Label where good learning happens.
In the pit.
List 3 things you could say to yourself when you are in the pit.
"Never give up!", "I can try and try again!", "I can do it!"


Evaluation:
Reflect on a time when you have been in the pit.
I have been in the pit when we learned fractions. I was trying to use a different way to prove that I know fractions.
How did you feel when you were in the pit?
I felt like I had to try even more to prove my fractions.
What did you do to work out of the pit?
I asked for help from my friend that has already proved that she could do fractions.

Feedback/Feedforward: I think that being in the pit is really hard because you are challenged.
I like how you said different way to prove it and you ask for help from your friend has already proved it. - Inara

Northern Cluster Arts Festival

Yesterday (Wednesday 13th August 2014) RSS performed at the Northern Cluster Arts Festival. At the Northern Cluster, all the schools from the north of Palmerston North performed a concert as a celebration of their performing arts. Only the chosen people from RSS got to perform in the Northern Cluster and I'm one of them.

Here are the groups from RSS that performed in the Northern Cluster.

'Rustling Ukes'/ 'The Actives'/ 'Te Roopu Whanau'

(Senior Ukulele Group/ School Band/ Kapa Haka)

_________________________________________________________________________________

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Te Reo Māori

WALT: communicate a message.

Description: We have been participating in 3 different workshops around colour, compositions and fonts.  We put these skills to use in a poster sharing our knowledge about Te Reo Maori.
Why? We have noticed that our posters are too cluttered and do not communicate a  message well.

Task: Make a poster about Te Reo Maori.

Criteria:
Message: My message is clear and purposeful.  Everything that is on my poster relates to my message.

Composition:  My poster is balanced.

Font:  My font is clear, readable and suits the message.

Colour:  I have used 2-3 colours that are complementary.  My background choice makes the text pop out.
Accuracy:  All of the words on my poster are spelt correctly.

Evaluation:
What are you most proud of and why?
I am most proud of how we added the important Maori words.

What challenged you the most and why?

What challenged me the most is the deadline of the poster.

Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?
My goal to work towards is to maybe use different Maori words.


Feedback/Feedforward:I like the way you have used composition and accuracy but next time you could use a bit more colour great job Emma:)

Self Assessment:

WALT Set smart goals Term 2

WALT: Set Smart Goals

Purpose: To set a learning goal for school, friendships, sports and personal.

Task:

S.M.A.R.T. means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-sensitive.

Specific: Don’t be vague. What exactly do you want?

Measurable: Quantify your goal. How will you know if you’ve achieved it or not?

Attainable: Be honest with yourself about what you can reasonably accomplish at this point in your life, taking into consideration your current responsibilities.

Realistic: It’s got to be doable, real and practical.

Time: Associate a time frame with each goal. When should you complete the goal?

My writing goal is to link related ideas within and between paragraphs.

The reason I have decided to focus on this goal is because I need to work on it more and I think I am doing linking ideas weakly.

I will accomplish my goal by trying to practice more at home.

My reading goal is to infer meaning when she is reading across longer more complex sentences.

The reason I have decided to focus on this goal is because I might need more work on it.

I will accomplish my goal by exposing myself  to a range of books with rich vocabulary.

My maths goal is to choose the most appropriate strategy for given problems.

The reason I have decided to focus on this goal is because I usually focus in one strategy.

I will accomplish my goal by revising my multiplication up to 10 x 10 and division up to 100 divided by 10.

My personal goal is to... mange self effectively.

The reason I have decided to focus on this goal is because even though my teachers think I'm good at it, I think I need to work on it because I sometimes I don't fill out my timetable.

I will accomplish my goal by not forgetting to fill my timetable as we go.

Sir Peter Blake

WALT: write for self
Sir Peter Blake was the captain of the America and New Zealand World Cup for yachting. He was a yachtsmen. He sadly got killed by pirates one day when he was sailing. To remember Sir Peter Blake, we wear red and white socks on those yachting competitions. Sir Peter Blake use to wear red and white socks all the time.

Now people want children's dreams to come true just like Sir Peter Blake.
So these are my dreams.
What I want to be: I want to be a doctor because I want to help people with whatever's wrong with them.
How might I do it: I think I can become a doctor by trying to have a really good education in high school so I can go to a medical university.
What is my dream for New Zealand: my dream for New Zealand is that it stays beautiful as it is now.

Feedback/Feedforward: 

Great Work I really like the way you have told the reader a little bit about him and the told what your dreams are. I really want New Zealand to stay green and clean as well

Grace.S:)

Grasshopper tennis sample

WALT: improve our small ball skills like catching, throwing, and hitting.

Description: We have been participating in a tennis programme with Big John (John Salisbury) from Tennis Manawatu. He has taught us some tennis skills that help with controlling and hitting the ball 

Why? To reflect on how we are going with the tennis skills we have learnt. We will share this during our Student Led Conference.

When? Week 8

Who? The World

Task: complete the rubric with targets to show your reflection. Make a comment to the questions below?

Evaluation:

What are you most proud of and why?

I am most proud of how I can do some more tricks with the tennis racket because I didn't really know these tricks before.

What challenged you the most and Why?

What challenged me the most is trying to bounce the ball with the side of the racket because it is not the flat side and also it is really thin.

Next time, what is a goal you can work towards?

My goal to work towards is being able to actually play the game a bit more.

Rubric:

Ki O Rahi

WALT Summarise (How will I know I am successful?)

• identify key words

• identify main ideas

Goals:

- Learn the legend

- Understand the legend

- Re-Tell

- Play the game

Resources:

Ki-O-Rahi

Follow-Up:

Create a pic summary of the story.

- daybook

- writer’s notebook

- 53 Pages App

- Educreations App

- Explain Everything

Re-Tell the story in a creative way:

- Written

- Picture Story

- Video

- Spoken Drama

- Dance

- Animation

Writing Sample

WALT: inform

DESCRIPTION: Write an explanation about something you have learned about energy.
For our writing sample we have been writing about energy. I have written about potential and kinetic energy.
What? We are publishing a piece of writing.
Why?, To share on our blog and during our Student Led Conference.
When? Week 6
Who? The World

Here is my writing.


What is potential energy? Imagine you were on the biggest roller coaster ride of your life. You are ready to zoom from the top of a big slope. Are you showing potential or kinetic energy?.

Potential energy is stored energy.  For example, when you put a ball on top of a hill it is ready to move down but it doesn't yet. The energy is stored with nothing to give it the ability to move so it doesn't push the ball to move forward. If the ground was rumbling it gives enough energy to push the ball so it rolls down the hill as kinetic energy. If you didn't get that here is another example. If a cart is on top of a roller coaster it is ready to move. The cart's energy is kept in so it is ready to burst out and make it move.
When something makes enough energy to make the cart go down, it will make it go down.
Any object that is ready to move but not enough energy to move is potential energy.
Now let's talk about kinetic energy.


Now what is kinetic energy? Is it when your are zooming down the big slope? Is it the opposite of potential energy?. Kinetic energy is moving energy.
For example, when a tissue roll is on an edge of a table, the tissue roll rolls off the table showing kinetic energy. It is showing kinetic energy because when the tissue roll falls of the table it is moving so it is kinetic energy. Here is another example. When a bowling ball is ready to roll and hit the pins it is potential energy. When you release the bowling ball from your hand with lots of energy, it is kinetic energy. That is how kinetic energy works.
Now we know how both kinetic and potential energy is. Potential is stored  and kinetic is moving energy.

Evaluation:

state the main point in the first part of a each new paragraph			You have started  to use main points at the start of each body paragraph.
include evidence (facts, experiments etc) to support my main point			I really like your examples and how you have given more than one.
explain the evidence and how it proves my main point			You have persevered to explain how/why your example proves your point - this is really tricky, well done.
Practise writing a linking sentence to my next paragraph			Your ideas link in your paragraphs. Your paragraphs flow and you have tried to link them. Well done.
infuse style: topic-specifc vocab, second/third person, present tense, transition words Writing assessment:			Great style. You have used some transition words.

Integrity sample

WALT: Show Integrity

Why? To showcase our understanding of this terms value of Integrity. We will share this during our Student Led Conference.
When? Week 7
Who? The World

Task: make a panoramic photo showing integrity

Description: Integrity means doing the right thing even when no one is watching. Zac, Ross, Grace and I made a panorama of what integrity is.
In the panorama, Zac and Ross were drawing pictures and leaving the pencils on the floor. I picked up the pencils even though no one told me too. I placed the pencils back to it's place.
Grace was the photographer.

When have I been showing integrity?

I have been showing integrity in marking my tables challenge sheet. I have shone integrity when I was doing my work independently. I have also done it at home too. Not only at school.
I have not shone integrity sometimes. Sometimes when I do my work and have to go somewhere, I sometimes leave my pens on the floor and avoid trying to pick them up. It's not really good to not show integrity so I try to pick up my pens and put them away now.

Reflection

I think we all did a fantastic job. I think we did the best that we could trying to tell people what is integrity. Just maybe aliens could understand what our panorama's story is telling.

Grace's comment (feedback/feedforward):

Great work I can really see that you understand and know what integrity is Wow great work keep it up Aye.

3 states of matter

WALT: show our understanding of how energy works.

DESCRIPTION: We have been learning about energy. To share our learning, Devin and I have made a video to explain how energy works.

What? Make a video (no longer than 30 seconds) about our understanding of energy. i.e. States of matter, Potential and Kinetic energy, Newtons Cradle or forms of energy like Radiation, Convection, Conduction
Why? To show what we know about how energy works, to share during our Student Led Conference.
When? Week 6
Who? The World

 Reflection

My comment:
I think me and Devin did a great job with our video about states of matter. We could have more info but our video had to take 30 secs.
Devin's comment:
Well done to us but I think if we had enough time we would put more info in it.

Writer's notebook (Naughty stuff)

WALT: Write ideas in writers notebook.

Few weeks ago we wrote in our writers notebook of what we did naughty and what we saw other people do naughty. Here is a pic of my writers notebook.

Mnemonics

WALT rote learn (by heart)
Today we used our spelling words as mnemonics. Mnemonics are letters from each word turned into a sentence. Here is mine.

Reflection
I think I did well trying to make all those mnemonics even though they did not make much sense.
Aye
I think you did very well and the pictures are great but some of them don't make sense.
Emma D

Maths sample

WALT: We are learning to multiply using place value.

 Our focus is to use different multiplication strategies to figure out three digit multiplication questions faster.  

At the moment we are focusing on the place value strategy.  To start with, our maths group worked together to learn the strategy.  Then we had a go by ourselves trying to use the strategy for each problem.  We shared our answers back with the group to discuss what the answers were. We are learning about place value.

Me, Hannah and Georgia made a poster about our maths we have been learning. Here it is.

Reflection from Georgia
I think you have worked very hard on this post. I like the way you have made the text very easy for someone who didn't know how to do it would understand straight away. Maybe next time you could find a different way to work out this question.
Reflection from me
I think we all did a great job. It was hard trying to explain how to do it, but we did great.

Writer's notebook

Here is my writers notebook. A writers notebook is not a diary, not a journal but all those things combine. Here is a page of what is hot and what is cold.